A recent study by caba has now revealed that over three-quarters (76%) of women regularly rewrite their emails – not to correct typos but to soften their tone. Whether it’s a quick message or a detailed report, women worry about being perceived as too harsh and that is often holding women back professionally…
If you often find yourself second-guessing that email draft or re-reading your Slack message before sending it, you might be guilty of ‘her-alysis’. It highlights the over-analysis many women engage in, stemming from the fear of being seen as too assertive or impolite.
Candice Baker, HR and People expert at caba, points out: “Women often change their behaviour, such as rewriting emails, adding exclamation marks or qualifiers to soften their manner. However, ‘her-alysis’ can suggest something more than just wanting to be liked – it can be a reflection of lower confidence or wanting to avoid confrontation which can suggest that women feel less sure of their professional position and authority.”
‘Her-alysis’ habits are holding women back professionally
Relying on exclamation marks. Padding your language with phrases like “just,” “actually,” or “I think”. Peppering emails with smiles or emojis. Starting sentences with qualifiers like “I’m no expert but…” or relying too much on niceties. All these habits can make you appear less confident.
Though seemingly harmless, these small habits may hold you back from being seen as a clear and confident professional. They could reflect a lack of confidence or uncertainty regarding authority in the office.
caba also found that nearly 2 in 3 women admitted to regularly experiencing self-doubt in the workplace. These feelings of doubting your own abilities can hinder future career progression.
“While these behaviours may seem trivial, they can greatly impact your professional life and mental health. These habits can cause you to overthink, which can lead to feelings of burnout,” says Candice. “Repeatedly questioning yourself, feeling overlooked, or fearing rejection can affect your mental wellbeing and consistently downplaying achievements or changing your communication style can put you at risk of missing opportunities for recognition and leadership roles.”
What can women do to avoid ‘her-alysis’ that’s holding women back professionally
Preventing ‘her-alysis’ habits from surfacing requires robust self-confidence in the workplace. To achieve this, Candice Baker advises that women try these FIVE things:
1. Use more confident language
Start small – send that email without editing it down. Get comfortable with being clear and direct, and avoid softening your message with unnecessary exclamation points or overly apologetic language. These subtle language changes will help improve your authority and confidence.
2. Set boundaries and prioritise wellbeing
Burnout is real. Overloading yourself isn’t a sign of strength. Setting clear boundaries and learning to say ‘no’ can help you manage stress and excel at your job unapologetically.
3. Self-promotion without an apology
Acknowledging and commending your achievements is an underrated and underused workplace wellbeing technique. Noting your wins can offer an all-important confidence boost, even if it’s a small celebration just for yourself. In moments of self-doubt, you should look back at how far you’ve come and know you can do it.
4. Build a supportive network
This is one of the most important pieces of advice. A support network should provide encouragement, guidance, and a safe space to discuss concerns. Sharing insights on how to reduce stress and manage challenges is vital, as the saying goes, a problem shared is a problem halved.
5. Share constructive criticism with your colleagues
Giving feedback is a strong start to improving your wellbeing at work. If you feel like you’re being spoken down to or treated unfairly, providing constructive criticism can help others improve their behaviour. Similarly, if you feel your success is downplayed, acknowledging and discussing it is the only way to resolve the issue.
Building and maintaining confidence at work is an ongoing task. It requires self-awareness, continuous learning, a positive mindset, and the willingness to step out of your comfort zone.
But remember, confidence is a skill that can be developed and is within your control.
If you’re interested in improving your confidence, caba offers proactive support, development courses and other helpful resources through its dedicated online space that helps women in the workplace.
