Senior assistants don’t just manage tasks; they sit in the middle of tensions. As an Executive Assistant Coach, Anu Timmerbacka helps professionals to manage any situation with clearer and more confident and conscious communication that has far reaching benefits for all parties…
As an EA you need to make decisions in situations that are often tense and demand immediate attention, weighing you options can include:
- speed vs. reflection
- access vs. protection
- inclusion vs. decisiveness
These are not problems to “fix”, but polarities to manage. If you favour speed too much people feel steam-rolled. And if you favour inclusion too much decisions stall.
A strategic EA is a conscious communicator
A strategic EA acts as an organisational thermometer, sensing when a helpful behaviour is tipping into overuse. But sensing is not enough. At some point, someone has to name it out loud – to “voice the elephant in the room” without shaming anyone for it. That is conscious communication in practice.
How to go from hero mode to conscious partner
Many EAs know the pattern of responsibility without permission. You see a risk, feel the misalignment and anticipate the conflict, but hesitate:
“Do I really have the right to say this?”
When that happens, the nervous system does what it is designed to do: protect. You stay polite, you fix what you can in the background, and hope that your value will somehow be “noticed”.
Conscious communication offers another path. Instead of rescuing silently, you:
- notice your own reaction
- clarify your intention (“I want us to succeed, not to criticise”)
- choose language that is both honest and kind
For example: “I’m noticing the team is hesitating on this decision. Would it help if I mapped the risks and options so we can move forward with more confidence?”
Here you are not attacking, nor hiding. You are naming a pattern and offering help.
The micro-skills of upward leadership
Leading upward is less about big speeches and more about repeatable micro-skills, such as:
- Framing your intention
“I’m raising this because I want to protect your time / our reputation / the team’s energy.”
- Asking for a clear mandate
“When I see these kinds of issues, would you like me to flag them early and suggest next steps?”
- Turning feelings into information
“There seems to be a lot of unspoken resistance around this change. Would it be useful if I gathered some anonymous feedback?”
These are all examples of conscious, upward communication: you stay grounded, you keep the relationship safe, and you still bring reality into the room.
Conscious communication requires skills, not a certain personality
The most important insight for many assistants is this: These are not “magic traits” some people are born with. They are skills that can be mapped, practised and strengthened.
With the right tools – including structured assessments of communication patterns – EAs can see their natural strengths (for example, calm under pressure, pattern-spotting, or relational diplomacy) and the blind spots that make certain conversations feel harder than they need to.
From there, upward leadership stops being a vague expectation and becomes a concrete practice: one conscious conversation at a time.
You can contact Any on LinkedIn and see more of her work at GreenElephant.org
Read more professional development articles in PA Life magazine.
