Forming a romantic relationship at work is still a controversial topic, despite becoming more commonplace. Talking with EAs and VAs, PA Life Editor Jade Burke investigates what makes
Forget signing up to the latest dating apps, singletons are now looking to the workplace to find their future partner or spouse. Working in such close quarters with colleagues all day, it isn’t hard to see why many employees are finding love in the workplace. With the average day lasting from nine to five, employees are spending the majority of their time at work, where they are forming relationships with others who quite often, have similar interests.
According to a study by Reboot Digital, an SEO company, who spoke to 2,017 professionals about finding love at work, data revealed that 45 per cent of participants had dated a colleague at some point in their professional life, with 12 per cent admitting that they had wooed their boss.
“Workplaces draw in people with similar goals and it is natural to assume that some work relationships will develop into an attraction.”
Abigail Corfield, People Business
Similarly, around half of all workers have fantasised about sleeping with a colleague, client or superior, according to new research by office supplier Printerland.co.uk. After examining what the British public think about their colleagues, the study detailed that while around half have thought about sharing their bed with a co-worker, a quarter have actually had an office romance, regardless of their personal lives.
“Psychology tells us that proximity is power when it comes to relationship building,” Abigail Corfield, junior consultant at People Business, a human resources and consultancy company, tells PA Life. “Workplaces often draw in people with similar goals and values, and it is natural to assume that some work relationships will develop into attraction in these circumstances.”
With the festive season in full swing, Christmas parties are set to crop up all over, where employees are likely to enjoy a few beverages together, which can often lead to a kiss underneath the mistletoe with another colleague. For example, Reboot Digital’s data found that 31 per cent of first kisses between co-workers take place at the office Christmas party. Meanwhile, those interviewed revealed they are more than twice as likely to embark on an office fling during the winter months.
Despite this, many have found their partner or husband and wife in the workplace, as Helen Miller, senior executive assistant from Citi, explains: “My husband and I worked for the same company. I was a sales secretary and he was an IT engineer. He in fact saw me first and when we went to a social event he asked me out. That was 36 years ago and we have been married for 34 years now with two grown up children.
“People spend more time at work than they do at home. If you are working constantly then the only place you will meet someone is in the workplace.”
Likewise, for one EA who wishes to remain anonymous, also found romance at work, revealing it is something that she would have usually dodged. “At the time I was the EA to the CEO and he worked in IT, so we met when I had issues with my computer. “We got to know each other as friends initially before it became more of a dating relationship. His visa then came to an end and he planned to return home to New Zealand. Months later we decided it would be worth me joining him there to give the relationship a good go,” she continues. “For me, it certainly was not my intention and something that I would try to actively avoid. I think as a general rule it is best to separate your home life from the workplace, because if things turn sour the implications can negatively affect your career, or at the very least the perception of you at work. Being a heart-over-head person myself, I didn’t take my own advice.”
Forming a relationship with a co-worker can have complications – other colleagues may gossip or may even disapprove, as 26 per cent of employers stated that they would prefer their staff not to date each other, according to Reboot Digital.
“I would encourage colleagues to embrace an attraction, as long as it’s reciprocal and they realise that they’ll still have to work together if it all goes wrong.”
Jade Hockie, Elevate PA
“At first, we kept it a secret then we announced we were getting married,” Miller adds. “One of the sales managers did not like this at all and frowned upon it, (he was very old school), but others were very pleased for us.”
In comparison, our anonymous EA found that work colleagues were incredibly happy for her blossoming relationship. “We deliberately kept things very quiet given my relationship to the CEO, my newness within the organisation, and my partner’s profile within the company,” she says.
“We were both concerned about professionalism and gossip. However, once he left the company and I remained there, we became more open with people and the reaction was positive. Most people were surprised we had managed to keep the news quiet, but happy that two nice people had met in the office.”
Divulging such information with co-workers can be daunting, with some being pleased to hear the news while others may disapprove. As such, to try and limit any negativity in the workplace, Corfield believes couples should be honest, remain professional at all times when communicating with their partner, carry on as normal without disruption to their work or behaviour, hold unbiased decision making and agree to report to someone else if one has managerial authority over the other. Corfield continues: “There is, of course, a level of risk involved which shouldn’t be underestimated. Relationships at work can become problematic where there are concerns regarding favouritism, biased decision making, inappropriate flirting and subsequent office gossip. “Individuals should also think of their professional reputation, which can be tarnished by an embarrassing office break-up story.”
Jade Hockie, VA at Elevate PA, who met her partner, a contractor that visited her office regularly, concurs: “I think it’s best to be open. People guess – you’re never going to fool people, no matter how discreet you think you’re being. Having said that, I think you should still behave professionally at work. There’s a massive difference between being open about it and drawing attention to it.”
After meeting her partner in the workplace, Hockie also believes that colleagues shouldn’t be afraid of acting out on an attraction with someone, providing they are aware of the possible consequences. “I would encourage colleagues to embrace an attraction, as long as it’s reciprocal and they realise that they’ll still have to work together if it all goes wrong,” she advises.
With our jobs consuming the majority of our time, it’s no surprise that people are finding love at work. Of course, approaching a romantic relationship in a professional environment can be tricky. But it is important to note that those interviewed have all found love in the workplace and have since remained with their partner or spouse – proving that forming an intimate relationship should not be so much of a taboo, but something that can be accepted, as long as it is handled delicately.
