A difficult boss can make life unpleasant, frustrating, or even terrifying. Here’s how to get the best from this tricky situation. We’ve all had a boss who is difficult to work with at some point in our working lives, and although they may frustrate or terrify you, your working relationship with them will affect your day-to-day work, your own ability to succeed and the success of your organisation and even your future career prospects.
Difficult bosses come in many forms – the moody manager, the absent boss who seems to drop by the office once a month only to deliver a list of what needs doing and then disappear again, the inept supervisor who takes all the credit and none of the blame, the over critical boss – but whatever kind of boss you have, you need to find a way to work with them effectively.
Having a difficult boss can be demotivating and stressful. You may be tempted to give them a piece of your mind or to hide in the tea room complaining to your colleagues, but unfortunately no one can change your boss’s behaviour but themselves. Rather than sabotaging your own career because of your boss’s behaviour, change the way you respond to it instead using these 10 tips.
Keep cool
Stay calm, even if your boss doesn’t. Its okay to disagree, but a blazing office row will not do you any favours. Remain polite, but assertive. Once you have heard them out you can walk away; let them know you have taken on board the issues they have raised and that you will discuss it with them when you have both had moment to calm down and consider the situation, or that you will respond to them in writing/ via email. Afterwards, move on. Holding a grudge will just make you miserable and lead to constant office tension.
Avoid making emotional or impulsive responses and decisions. You may want to quit then and there but which is more important, your pride or being able to pay the rent?
Be realistic
Face the fact that wherever you go you will meet difficult people in the workplace, it’s just part of life and you need to learn to manage it. Rather than letting it affect your work or becoming bitter, adjust your attitude, stop complaining and get positive. If you genuinely care about your job and get results, people will notice and you will feel a lot better about your work.
Empathise
Your boss is only human, and has their own pressures and problems to deal with. You will probably see only one side of your boss, remember there is more going on in their life than just you – they have their own boss to answer to, changing goals and priorities, as well as whatever may be going on in their personal life. Although you bear the brunt of it, you are probably not be the cause of their frustration. A distant boss may simply be too busy to give you the support you would like.
Don’t push them away
Resist the urge to disengage or avoid your boss entirely. Let them know what you are doing, and give them opportunities to provide you with positive feedback. If your boss is constantly critical of your work, ask how you can do better or what skills you need to develop to progress in your career. Show them you are serious about your job and career by finding an appropriate course or training and asking your boss to send you on it.
Be aware of their needs
Instead of complaining about your boss’s flaws, support them. You know what stresses them out or what tasks they struggle with. Learn to ask the right questions, clarify instructions, anticipate what needs doing next and use your initiative. It’s easy to switch off when we dislike someone, so make sure you listen to avoid having to ask obvious questions later or completing tasks incorrectly. Try to match the way you prioritise your work to your boss’s goals and priorities. Be aware of your boss’s mood, give them some space if they are busy or stressed.
Respect their opinion
Your boss got to where they are today for a reason, allow them to be a mentor to you and see what you can learn (not the bad bits of course!). Be open to their suggestions and criticisms, and see it as an opportunity for personal development rather than taking it personally. If you disagree with something or have a suggestion, feel free to raise it but know when to back down. Your boss will always have the final word.
Build trust
Make sure that if you say you’ll do something, you do it. Meet deadlines on time and don’t agree to tasks you know you won’t be able to complete. Own up to your mistakes and keep your boss informed of any problems to avoid giving them a nasty surprise and more work later. Show them they can count on you to get the job done.
Say thank you
Everyone wants to feel appreciated and valued, and management is often a difficult and thankless task. Instead of focussing on the negative, look for your boss’s strengths and good points and acknowledge their contribution to your successes. After all, isn’t that what you want from them?
Build positive relationships
If your boss is really out to get you and you find you are completely unable to to build a positive working relationship with them, do it elsewhere instead. More experienced colleagues, other management staff, even your boss’s own boss can act as a mentor and give you contacts and direction. These positive relationships can also counter negative feedback or bad opinions circulated by your boss, and provide you with good references should you decide to move on.
Be patient
It’s not your role to say if your boss is good at their job or not. If your boss is really that bad, it’s only a matter of time before someone higher in the chain of command notices.
