You think you have problems? Read this ‘Confessions of a Personal Assistant’…. continued
Now, the fate of a dying kumquat tree in the artist’s loft—and on an apparently related note, the well-being of the boss—was Missy’s responsibility. She kept prioritizing her boss’ business needs over the tree, until she got called in for a kumquat-inspired scolding: “It’s this bad energy, this tree is like a dying animal, and you need to call a nursery, I want somebody to bring the tree back to life.” When resurrection proved impossible, Missy hid the tree, ending that particular chapter in a troubled work relationship.
Leon Renyop, an assistant to a film and TV director, recalls being saddled with finding an ethnic baby to be photographed for a greeting card of questionable taste. He couldn’t very well tell the infant casting agencies that the baby was needed for a goof, so he fabricated the alter ego “Geoffrey Bozenkampf” complete with accent and Gmail account, and acting as Geoffrey he claimed he needed the baby’s image to use in a short film. Then, because his director boss is “obnoxiously frugal,” Leon had to find a way to print up 150 of these holiday cards for about $80 (Kinko’s quoted about $250 for the job). “Find a way, there’s gotta be a way,” came the director’s typical refusal to take no for an answer. Leon faked a fall and injury at Kinko’s for an instant 60% discount, and in this case, for the win.
Another time, the director called Leon around 9:30 on a Saturday, requiring 200 tennis balls before noon, so he could teach his girlfriend tennis—and he needed to get the balls for a cost of about $10. “There’s gotta be a way.” Leon ran around town, finding those ways, not all of them necessarily legal. “I hopped the fence at a country club with a basket I picked up at the grocery store and picked up like 30 orphan balls, I got chased by the tennis coach. Then I called a buddy who was a member at a country club, who knew a crooked groundskeeper, who sells balls he steals from the country club. I drove like 30 minutes and did this sketchy tennis ball transaction in his alley like I was buying a pound of cocaine and I had to haggle him down.” It took until about 12:15, but Leon once again made it happen.
One assistant worked for an award-winning cinematographer and his family for several years. “I had developed a very tight bond with them and we considered each other family. The couple asked if I would film the birth of their child. They said I was the only person they trusted enough to handle this task. While I was terrified at the thought of filming such a personal and unfamiliar event, I was honored to have been asked. It was requested that I watch several hours of birthing videos so I would know what to expect during the birth. Each day, I watched hour-long videos of women going through labor and the delivery of their babies. Video after video, I watched as these women were screaming and cursing and looking as if they were being tortured. What had I gotten myself into?”
”Inside the delivery room, I was introduced to the doctor and knew that I was going to have to be very creative to get the perfect shot and capture the whole event. I found the perfect place to stand, the overhead light was in the perfect spot. Just as things were getting good and the baby was crowning, the doctor moved to a different position, moving the overhead light with him. Knowing that my boss was expecting a perfect video, I quickly apologized to the doctor and moved the light to where it was best for my camera angle. There was an excellent chance that my boss and his wife would have been outraged that I would get in the way of the doctor, but instead, my boss, the cinematographer, gave me a high-five and said… ‘YES! That’s why I knew you were perfect for the job!’
”I never watched that video, but I’m told that it was wonderfully shot and perfectly lit.” Not surprisingly, sometimes these worker-boss relationships come crashing to ugly ends. When one final insult prompted Missy to quit, her boss compared their split to a divorce, and it came complete with a legal battle Missy initiated to collect unemployment, which she won. However, some endings are happier. Katie’s tenure on a different assisting gig to a “semi-celebrity chef” ended when she was promoted to the job she wanted. And Leon feels he’s learned all he can from this director, and feels like he can never rest easy in this job, so he’s ready to go shadow other directors. For unhappy personal assistants, greener pastures beckon, and after they have time to heal, they’ll still have the stories, even if they can’t legally tell them to others.
Courtesy CNBC, for the full story go to: http://www.cnbc.com/id/40437746#
