The power of influencing others is essential to success in all areas of business and important to the smooth and successful accomplishment of a PA’s duties. Influencing includes the ability to negotiate to reach agreement and to persuade others in our work environment to take the action that we feel is most suitable to the situation, but also depends on how you handle objections to your requests or arguments and challenge – tactfully – the views expressed by those who disagree with you. Influence broadly divides into two skills: persuading and negotiating.
Persuading is an essential skill when needing to convince others to take action. In order to achieve this you need to:
• Develop a line of reasoned argument
• Back up your viewpoint with logic, fact, and positive language
• Emphasise the strengths and positives in your argument
• Express yourself in a calm but assertive way
Negotiating will often increase the chances of achieving a result and depends on listening to and in some way addressing the needs of another. To negotiate successfully you need to:
• Maintain open, friendly body language
• Establish trust
• Work towards an agreement which is acceptable to both sides
• Use compromise and concession to get agreement
• Powerful Persuading
Be sure that you have researched your ideas and practised what you need to say, so that you can verify your statements and speak convincingly, avoiding hesitations that will make you seem less believable. Then use positive language wherever possible, confirming what the other person says but adding your side of the argument – “I’m sure you’re right, but…” is more positive than “No, you’re wrong”.
To develop empathy, echo the terms they use and even their body language and show your appreciation by complimenting them, for instance about how knowledgeable they are on the subject, or what they have achieved so far. Remember and use people’s names, it really does make a difference.
Perhaps the most important pitfall to be aware of in negotiating is the temptation to pursue your own interests while ignoring those of other parties. Persuading someone to do what you want without benefit to them may create a short-term gain for you but creates a long-term resentment that will influence any future relationship.
Knowledgeable negotiating
Perhaps surprisingly, more success can be achieved by focusing on the needs of the other party, so listen carefully to understand their needs and expectations. By showing that you are really interested you can develop a relationship of trust and respect which makes it easier for you to voice your argument or needs.
To improve your ability and chance of success when negotiating, it is worth working to build a mutual trust and trying to see things from others’ perspective. Listen carefully to the other person to understand their point and ask questions about any areas you are not clear about. Challenge generalisations and assumptions, but then identify the key issues and areas of common ground and highlight them.
Keep calm and use positive, assertive language and body language, avoiding aggression. A little tact and diplomacy can go a long way to getting agreement or resolving disagreements, as can knowing when and where you can afford to compromise. Complimentary comments diffuse a tense situation and re-establish personal trust.
If you can’t reach an agreement, look for alternative outcomes and be open to gaining whatever short-term foothold you can and wherever the discussion ends, keep it positive.
