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‘Honestly’, using ‘reassuring’ language causes distrust

Using reassuring language causes distrust

The use of supposedly reassuring language such as “honestly”, “believe me”, “trust me” and “let me be clear” when spoken by politicians and business leaders cause instant distrust, backfiring spectacularly by suggesting the exact opposite of their intended effect.

The use of complicated language is also likely to cause people to distrust what they hear, according to an online poll by the Academy of Executive Coaching. 83% of those surveyed were more likely to trust someone who used simple language than someone hiding behind more complicated wording. 57% were also more likely to believe someone giving short, concise answers rather than going into more detail.

The 10 most commonly used phrases that arouse suspicion include:

  1. If I’m honest
  2. Let me be clear
  3. Believe me
  4. The honest truth is
  5. The fact is
  6. To be fair
  7. In terms of
  8. The real issue is
  9. I understand what you are saying but
  10. In all honesty.

Gina Lodge, CEO of the Academy of Executive Coaching said: “If someone repeatedly has to reassure you that what they are saying is true, that is an instant red flag that they are trying to mislead you. Similarly, a long, complicated answer is likely to be seen as evasiveness – trying to find a way to avoid telling the truth without actually lying.”​

The survey also found that the three qualities that are most important to how trustworthy a politician or business leader appears are emotional openness, calm rationality and benevolence. Displays of aggression, competitiveness and outspokenness were likely to cause people to question the trustworthiness of public figures.

“This may come as a surprise given recent events in the US,” said Gina Lodge. “During the election campaign, we saw how Trump deliberately used provocative language in his speeches. But he also used openly emotional language. He talked about his opponents being ‘mean’ to him or making ‘rude’ comments. He avoids speaking in managerial clichés and uses simple, direct language. This, more than the meaning of what he says, is why he was able to connect with people in such a powerful way.”

The AoEC recently partnered with John Blakey, author of The Trusted Executive, to identify what leadership qualities help inspire trust. Blakey said: “The boardroom has traditionally been a very aggressive, competitive space – illustrated by candidates on the Apprentice talking about how they’re ‘not here to make friends’ – but as we move to a more open and transparent business landscape, this no longer works. Ideas of benevolence are becoming more and more important.”

Gina Lodge added: “Many companies pride themselves for understanding ‘soft skills’ and talking about the importance of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). But this is not enough. The word ‘intelligence’ makes it sound like a head skill when what is required is to speak openly from the heart, embracing benevolence, kindness, evangelism and love.”

John Blakey added: “I speak to lots of companies about the importance of evangelising about your business in order to win over new customers. One company asked if I could use a different word instead of ‘evangelise’ to make the message more in line with business talk, even though my whole point was that organisations need to move away from the cold language of the boardroom and adopt the same tone that we use among friends and family – the people we trust most of all. If we use honest, transparent language at home and connect with each other there through recognising positive emotions, then it also makes sense to use this approach in business.”