Salman Raza, author of Life’s Non-Conformities: An Auditor’s Tale of Practical Application of Social, Emotional & Behavioral Strategies, provides some key advice for managers and staff…
Your daily job can become a nightmare simply by the presence of a workplace bully. Their behavior and antics can be enough to make you dread clocking in each morning. But there are proven strategies you can use to deal with any workplace bully you encounter. Here are seven tips:
- Ask Questions. When someone tells you that you are doing a poor job, or questions your competence in a public manner, it can be very difficult not to internalize the message. Instead, ask for specific feedback. If the bully’s intentions are malicious, they may be at a loss for words.
- Respond, Don’t React. It can be easy to react to emotional stimuli, especially if it is negative. When confronted with aggression, dominance, snark, or outright rude behavior from your workplace bully, take a moment to identify the emotion you are feeling.
- Flip the Script. Can you pinpoint why they may act the way they do? Are there any hints or clues you can gather to help you see the world through their eyes? Maybe their boss treats them in a similar manner. Maybe the behavior is out of jealousy. Trying to see the other side, no matter how difficult, can be a very powerful tool.
- Offer Feedback. Few people look forward to the chance of confronting a bully. If anything, we were taught to ignore bullies when we were younger. As an adult, that is nearly impossible. Instead of ignoring your workplace bully, make a list of a few characteristics that make them a bully. See if you can suggest alternative behaviors for each one, as if you were giving the bully advice. Then, agree to meet in a neutral space, when the workplace bully appears receptive to feedback, and share your findings. Be sure to avoid generalizations and use specific and timely examples.
- Highlight their Strengths. Most bullies are riddled with insecurity. So, also consider making a list of their strengths. Are there any opportunities where you can genuinely compliment the workplace bully on a specific strength? This may help diffuse some of the insecurities the bully has and help increase confidence and collaboration within the work setting.
- Redefine Their Role. Once a workplace bully does something to harm or upset you, seeing them as a negative presence is common. In addition to channeling your empathy, try picturing this individual as if they were a good friend or family member. Do you see any similarities at all between your friend and your workplace bully? How have your feelings toward this person changed within this visualization? This tactic can help neutralize some of your negative feelings.
- Walk the Talk. If all else fails, be a role model in your workplace. Demonstrate active listening, empathy, leadership, fairness, recognition, and all the characteristics you would want in a coworker. Sometimes bullies need an example to follow, and you present the perfect opportunity to model those positive behaviors.
Workplace bullies are flawed humans, just like the rest of us but if all else fails, speak to your boss or human resources.
